Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Awareness and Fear Of Looking Afraid

So many potential confrontations may be avoided, first by awareness (relevant to both men and women), and second by not worrying about looking afraid (more relevant to men). In the first case, just paying attention to our environment, (who is around us, if someone seems to be following us and so on) can preempt finding ourselves in an unwanted scenario. Of course the awareness is useless unless we act on it. For example, if it seems you are being followed, then rather than just dismissing it as being paranoid, going into the nearest business and seeing if the person/s in question keep on moving down the street or not, and if there's a bouncer or doorman at a bar or restaurant, then actually letting them know your concerns is not a bad idea.

In the second case, if some knucklehead on the street is acting like an ass towards you, rather than responding in kind, responding to it in the most neutral way possible can often lead to nothing more than being annoyed. As one of my instructors said, "Someone can call me anything they want, as long as they aren't trying to get physical with me." The problem is that guys don't want to appear cowardly and that can lead to unnecessary trouble.


  1. I have to agree with what you've said here. A while back some guy in a bar I was in was talking pretty hard and trying to start shit. I just ignored him, finished my beer and left. One of the guys I was with who knows I train in martial arts said "Man I'm suprised you did'nt kick his ass." I was like, for what, for talking? F*%k him, it's not like he attacked me or anything. One of the other guys I was with fights MMA and he had the same attitude as I did. While it was kind of a buzzkill, It was'nt worth whatever may have happened had it escalated.

  2. Steve,

    Great blog.

    My ego (or my sense of how i desire to be perceived) has always been my most dangerous enemy...I too got the "why didn't you kill him....Did you hear what he called: (you, me, us, them)? You must be a pussy."

    To conquer the impulse to "give the people what they want" so I'll feel " approved of"that is real victory, and in my opinion, real "gung fu".

    Like it's been said, "there is no companionship with the immature"..It's an on-going battle though.

    Lowell Hein